25 Things That I Wish I Had Known As An (Undiagnosed) Autistic Child

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  1. That when a teacher instructs you to “write as much as you can”, they don’t mean this literally. You don’t have to turn in 30 double sided pieces of A4. You can write two sides like everyone else.

  2. Similarly, when a teacher tells you to “wait outside”, they don’t actually mean outside the building. They mean in the corridor, by the classroom door.

  3. Attendance awards had nothing to do with your achievement, and everything to do with the school’s reputation. Medical appointments are more important than getting a 100% attendance award.

  4. The kids in your class really did not want to be given your small paper fish at going home time. This isn’t a reflection on you or your creativity, but on their lack of admiration for originality.

  5. That two different statements can co-exist and be true at the same time. Even if these things are opposites.

  6. If something is hurting you, you don’t have to carry on doing it, just because you have been instructed to. An instruction should come with terms and conditions, because you do not have to carry on the activity if it is painful, or if something more important happens.

  7. There are different ways to get to the same solution. You don’t have to follow the same route as everyone else, because that doesn’t always work for you. Do it your way.

  8. Don’t copy what another kid did to make the whole class laugh. They may have laughed when he did it, but if you copy, you will almost certainly get into trouble.

  9. No, not everyone can hear that sound. That doesn’t mean you’re making it up. You just have superb hearing compared to everyone else.

  10. Your imagination is beautiful and constructs some magnificent things. It can also construct some horrific things. Just because you think something doesn’t mean it true.

  11. When kids tell you that a game is their game, they don’t actually mean that. They’re being cruel. You don’t have to seek permission to play that game. You play it wherever and whenever you like, if it brings you joy.

  12. When a teacher asks you if you want to teach the class instead, they don’t actually mean going up to the front of the class and doing this, because that is rude. Even though you are following their exact instruction, you are in the wrong.

  13. Some questions are not meant to be answered, because if you answer them, you are “talking back” and that is very rude. Even though they asked the question, you are in the wrong. And no, it is impossible to tell which questions are meant to be answered and which ones are not.

  14. Getting into trouble once in your entire school life is not the end of the world. You are not the worst person on the planet. You don’t need to cry for days. Especially when you didn’t even mean to be ‘bad’.

  15. Reading books during lessons is not a good idea and will almost certainly get you into trouble.

  16. People say things that they don’t mean. All the time. And it is impossible to tell when this is happening.

  17. When a parent or someone in authority figure tells you not to disturb them, this does not mean that if something serious is happening you shouldn’t disturb them. This instruction should also come with terms and conditions. If there is a fire, please tell them.

  18. When someone asks you what you did on the weekend, they would like a sentence or two. They do not want to know exactly what you did from the minute you woke up until you went to bed. (I know…how rude of them!)

  19. People will contradict themselves all of the time. Especially adults. They will tell you not to do something and then will do it themselves. Do not question this, or you will be told off. Even though it doesn’t make sense.

  20. Adults will tell you that it is okay to ask as many questions as you like, but when you actually ask that many questions, they will sigh and appear frustrated. This is confusing. Unfortunately we have to accept this.

  21. Something changing last minute is not the end of the world, even though it feels like it is. You are not selfish for being overwhelmed by this.

  22. Not everyone has the same experiences as you. Not everyone went to Spain on their holiday. Not everyone has a pet hamster. Not everyone has a brother and a sister.

  23. The teacher does not want their spelling and grammar corrected on every single powerpoint slide and handout, no matter how helpful you think this is.

  24. Your imaginary friends are very, very real to you, but not everyone will understand that. That’s okay - they’re still important friends.

  25. People exaggerate things a lot. When a kid in your class says he climbed ten mountains over the weekend, he probably didn’t.

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What School Was Like as an (Undiagnosed) Autistic

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Alexithymia and Autism