GIRL UNMASKED: Publication Week, Podcasts and Waterstones Event
The past couple of weeks have been the most surreal of my life. GIRL UNMASKED is officially out in the world, and I am filled with gratitude.
On Wednesday 27th March, I saw it in Waterstones for the first time (it was on the shelf a day early!). It’s fair to say that it was a very surreal experience, and one of those life moments that I’ll never ever forget.
On Thursday 28th, I had a book launch celebration with my family, friends, wonderful agent and publisher, family friends, local community - and even my teachers from school came! It was a very special evening, being in a room filled with (almost) everyone I loved, and very special people who have had such an impact on my life.
Thank you to The Red Lion Radlett for the perfect venue and wonderful hospitality, and to Naomi at Detailed Events (@detailed_events_) for planning the evening, the beautiful cake and decorating the venue with gorgeous flowers, snacks and balloons in the colour of my book! Thank you also to Arun Kataria (arun@kataria.org.uk) for taking photos (photo’s 5 and 6 in this grid)!
There may have been a few tears…especially during my dad’s speech. Another moment I will remember forever.
I practically shut down the whole of Friday and Saturday from overwhelm from exhaustion and too much processing!!
On Sunday 31st, I woke up to my face on the BBC News website! By the middle of the day, it was on the home page of BBC news, and I was flooded with heartfelt messages. It even made it to BBC Brasil a few days later! Thank you Charlie Jones for the lovely article (link here).
On the 1st March, GIRL UNMASKED reached number 7 out of all books on Amazon, something I could never have imagined happening.
I have this overwhelming feeling that I do not deserve any of this. None of it feels real. But I’m soaking in the moments of joy, and remembering how blessed I am to be here, experiencing this.
There has also been a lot of anxiety, overwhelm and exhaustion - and I think that’s important to say. What is shown online is always the highlight reel!
A message of thanks from me (recorded last week):
I am also lucky enough to have featured on some brilliant podcasts this past week. I thoroughly enjoyed talking to Emily from 21 and Sensory, Kate from The ADHD Women’s Wellbeing Podcast and Dale from The SENDcast. Each of the episodes are very different, covering different topics, and I loved recording all of them!
“I was angry about stuff that I’d been through and I think I was quite angry that a lot of other people seemed to be experiencing the same thing. So through the mental health system, through having those contacts with professionals and difficulties through the mental health system but actually still not being recognised even when they’re presenting with the challenges that come along with being autistic in those environments. So yeah, I was angry and I started to write.”
“I’ve always loved writing ever since I was 3 or 4. I used to carry around a little notebook. I always say when I went to school I could already read and write, I had to stop reading and writing all of the time because I would just want to do that all the time and not do anything else. So I’d be sitting there reading kind of full length novels and journal articles in like Year 2 and Year 3 when the class are doing phonics and stuff. I’ve always loved reading and writing, so I think it was just a way of processing stuff.”
“I never even meant to write about myself and the fact that it’s a memoir makes me feel a little bit like I can’t believe I’ve got a memoir, like I’m 22, like I don’t feel like I should have a memoir out, I don’t feel like I’m that important. But the way the story tells best is through using my life because what I’ve been through is not just me, there’s a lot of people that end up in the mental health system, that might end up sectioned in hospital and stuff so it’s not just me and I think it’s really important that we talk about that. But yeah I never meant to write a memoir and I never meant to write a book that was so much about me, so it feels a little bit daunting and yeah, I’m a bit nervous.”
2. The ADHD Women’s Wellbeing Podcast: ‘Living with Autism and ADHD with Emily Katy.’
Join Kate and I as we talk about my ADHD diagnosis journey, my relationship with autism versus ADHD, being in the mental health system, school anxiety, #NotASchoolSkiver, the education system, OCD and anxiety cycles, sleep difficulties and weighted blankets!
“When I was diagnosed with autism, I really took on that diagnosis and I just I knew i was autistic from the minute they said I was autistic. ADHD, on the other hand, it took me a long time to get my head around that and to sort of believe that I had ADHD. ”
“I’d say from about the age of 8 or 9, I was obsessed with the idea that I could have nits. It sounds disgusting and that is was fuelled it, that disgust and that shame. I think I had nits once as a child and after that, I was so worried about going near other children. It just built up and I would think about it all the time, I would worry about it, I would try and get rid of them even though there was nothing there. And that was really consuming as a child, and then that sort of shifted to contamination OCD when I was in my teenage years, then it latched on to religion and morals and thinking ‘I’m gonna go to Hell even though I’m not sure I believe in God and what can I do to stop me going to Hell?’ It just sort of shifts, the theme of OCD to whatever it can get its hands on and until you recognise that it’s OCD, it’s very hard to start working through it.”
“Our brains just go round and round in spirals and we can’t stop. It’s that racing mind and it’s almost like we need something to worry about because our brain never stops, so our brain needs to latch on to something because otherwise it’s bored and it’s restless and actually that boredom can trigger the anxiety because it needs something to think about. Just reframing stuff like that has been life changing because I can understand the source of where different sources are coming from, and actually it’s less about the worry and more about my brain needing to be occupied.”
“I was described as a child on the verge of school refusing, so I was never actually a school refuser and I would go to school, but I would hide in the library and would refuse to go to lessons, and there were days I would refuse to go in. But I just think that why are they painting us as kids that are ‘school skivers’? That suggests there’s an element of choice in it and maybe maliciousness, as in like ‘I’m just not going to school’ when there are so many reasons for it. 94.3% of school attendance difficulties are underpinned by severe distress with 92.1% being neurodivergent and then 83.4% are autistic. This is a campaign against neurodivergent kids I feel. ”
3. The SENDcast: ‘GIRL UNMASKED - Autistic Masking, School and Mental Health with Emily Katy.’
Listen to Dale and I talk about school challenges, perfectionism, school anxiety, what helped at school, mental health crisis, my autism diagnosis journey, and the transition from school to work.
“I wish that children, teenagers, young people could just see how much wider the world is and how much wider life is than school and grades because they can’t see that. They can’t see what it’s like to be an adult because they’ve not been there. Especially if they’ve got that autistic brain. Sometimes I just wish someone could have shown me my future cause I would never have been able to imagine what my life is like now. I could never imagine my anxiety being any lower than it was and actually having more control and autonomy about life, and just being able to do fun stuff and not have to worry about school and grades, and also all the other stuff going on in my head.”
“Also, especially for young people, they are imagining them going through all the future situations as they are now. So they’re imagining them being the same person dealing with all of the future, but we are so many different versions of ourselves throughout our lives. I’m such a different person to who I was two years ago or let alone at 18 or 16, but you can’t see that. You think oh my goodness this is me now and I’m gonna have to go through that but, yes it’s you, but you’ll have grown and developed so much that it won’t be as hard as you think it will be by that point. It’s impossible for us to know how we’re gonna feel in five years time or what we’re gonna want to do cause it will change. ”
I am also very excited to announce that I’ll be at Waterstones St Albans on Thursday 25th April at 7pm! Come and chat with Sarah O’Brien (author of So I’m Autistic) and me about Girl Unmasked, autism and neurodivergence! Reserve your ticket here.
Thank you so much to everyone who has read GIRL UNMASKED already, and thank you to everyone who has said such lovely things. I have received hundreds and hundreds of messages and emails over the past few days, and I can’t get back to everyone, but please know that I am very grateful for all of the support.
GIRL UNMASKED is available to order from Amazon and all major bookstores! https://linktr.ee/girlunmasked