What is POCD and Why is it Different to P*dophilia?
This week is OCD Awareness Week and a few days ago I opened up about experiencing P*dophile OCD (POCD) for the first time. The response I’ve received has been overwhelmingly lovely, even from those who hadn’t heard of it before and who just wanted to learn more.
What is POCD?
When I first experienced P*dophile OCD, I had no idea what I was experiencing. I was just terrified. I believed that I was a monster, the worst person to ever exist and I wanted to die. What I was really experiencing was repetitive, intrusive thoughts known as ‘obsessions’, which led to time-consuming compulsions to try to reduce the anxiety from the obsession.
Obsessions in POCD include:
“What if I’m attracted to children?”
“What if I’m a p*dophile?”
“What if I’ve done something inappropriate without meaning to?”
“What if I just looked at that child inappropriately?”
“What if one-day I do something inappropriate?”
Intrusive images of a s*xual nature
Compulsions in POCD include:
Avoiding children
Avoiding looking at images/photos of children
Counteracting ‘bad’ thoughts with ‘good’ ones
Ruminating about the obsession
Checking your bodily sensations / reactions / groinal response
Reassurance seeking from friends / family / professionals
Why is POCD not p*dophilia?
OCD obsessions are EGODYSTONIC - meaning they are the OPPOSITE to a person’s values, morals and beliefs.
A person with POCD does not enjoy their intrusive thoughts. They are terrified and disgusted by them. They want them to go away. They are the opposite of desire. Whereas p*dophiles know that they are attracted to children and seek out this desire, people with POCD constantly doubt themselves and are sucked into relentless spirals of intrusive thoughts and questions that they try to seek a certain answer to and are unable to.
Is there treatment for POCD?
Just like other types of OCD, POCD can be treated with specialised OCD therapy. This includes Exposure and Response Prevention Therapy (ERP) where someone is gradually exposed to anxiety-provoking stimuli without completing compulsions. Other treatments also exist including ICBT.
Medication can also be used to treat OCD, including SSRI’s, adjunct antipsychotics or Clomipramine.
In the UK, treatment follows the NICE Guidelines which usually recommend a combination of therapy and medication.
POCD is highly stigmatised and brings a lot of shame.
This often means that people are afraid to speak out or to share their experiences with friends or family.
OCD thrives on shame and secrecy. This can increase feelings of hopelessness, loneliness and suicidal ideation.
Raising awareness of POCD is suicide prevention.
I am now a team member of Inside Intrusive, an OCD support company founded by Molly Lambert. I am hosting my first POCD Support Group with Molly and Helen on Tuesday 20th October at 6.30pm. You can sign up for our session here. Groups cost £7.50 and are an hour of psycho-education and peer support, facilitated by a professional and someone with lived experience (or a professional with lived experience like me!).